It always starts badly
- Camilla Young
- Aug 28, 2023
- 3 min read
Yep, I can't remember a time when I did something brilliantly on my first attempt.
The challenge is, our role models are the ones who've already mastered their craft. And that's important, they set the bar & give us something to aspire to. We need that motivation. It helps us think bigger and inspires us to get started.
And when we do catch that spark and start something new, it's natural that we then start comparing.
The problem is that we're then comparing our first draft, to someone else's 10th, 100th, 1000th (I could go on, but you get the picture).
It's something I've really struggled with, and I don't think I'm the only one. At work, I've had many a less experienced team member say to me 'oh you're so confident' or 'you're just so knowledgeable'. They're comparing themselves, often with 10 years+ less experience under their belt, and feeling inadequate.
It's understandable, they weren't there to witness me start out as a completely clueless grad, and they never heard the anxiety that rattled through my mind after my display of 'confidence'. But left unchecked it can prevent people moving forward.
Never have I noticed this comparison issue more strongly than when I launched this business. I started off with confidence, I'd done my research. I'd seen many others doing the same thing on Linked In or Instagram. It didn't look that hard. Then I started, and lo and behold I'm nowhere near the standard I aspire to be. How do they make it look so easy?
It's extremely off-putting.
And previously I'd have given up. How many times do you just have one or two goes at something and then declare 'I'm no good at this'? Karate- three lessons, Wheel-throwing- two lessons, Ring making- one lesson. It's not surprising I was terrible at all of them.
But I've set myself this goal, and it's very public now. I took 'giving up' off the table and instead started to notice.
I noticed what made me feel worse (hello 'content strategists' and 'ghost writers'). I spent time scrolling back in their feeds to find their earlier drafts.....and quickly noticed that stuff had been deleted (unless of course they miraculously started with reels that had 300k views).
I also started paying more attention to the stories around me.
Rather than focus in on the success, I listened for failure. I listened for hard work. I listened for perseverance.
I watched the Netflix Wham! documentary and realised how much of their story was about failure, and bouncing back after hard knocks. Even when they did eventually get signed, some of their biggest hits only made it to the top 10 on the second release!
I listened to Emily Maitliss share the hundreds of hours of prep that she put into preparing for THAT Prince Andrew interview. I listened to her talk of her fear, and her self doubt.
Prior to that interview all I saw was the final, flawless performance.
I noticed when the people I aspire to emulate tried something new or hinted at just how many hours they'd practiced before I saw their finished product.
It's natural to focus on the success, that's what's celebrated in our culture, and it's an important source of motivation. But, to be able to achieve it for ourselves we need to persevere through failure.
Too many people allow fear of not being good enough to stop them from ever starting, or to give up after the first few tries.
To achieve success we need to push past the fear. The great thing is, you can change your mindset simply by noticing a different part of the story.
Next time you catch yourself comparing, do a little research. Ask how they started, how many years it's taken them to learn that skill or how many hours they put into preparing for that outstanding presentation.
Start valuing the story that got them there more that the final result.
You'll learn far more from the struggle than you ever will from the outcome.
